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Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…  Ha ha!  I’ll bet you thought I was going to keep going with the Gilligan’s Island theme song.  Nope.

I got this free pool off of Freecycle.  I’m a big time lovah of the Freecycle.  My favorite price for anything is free.  So, a lady had a pool on the Freecycle.  I said I’d take it.  I figured that if all the stuff wasn’t there, I’d just put it out there on Freecycle again, or try to get the missing shit from Freecycle.  Bing, bang, boom, done.  Easy, peasy, right?  Nope.

Dan went with me to pick it up.  Dan doesn’t usually go with me on my Freecycle runs, but I think he thought I was going to be getting some big ol’ piece of crap and that he could talk me out of it.  When we showed up at the lady’s house, she started telling me that she knows one of my friends, asked if I was related to that friend (we have the same last name), and said Dan and I were as cute in person as we were on Facebook and that she wasn’t a stalker!  Ha ha ha!  I laughed and smiled at her, told her, “Of course not!” and shot Dan a look that said, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry that I got us killed in our sleep because of my love for free shit!”

She started walking across her yard to the where the pool was and Dan drove the truck around to the spot and she proceeded to show me all the stuff she had for the pool, how it fit in, what were important parts, the parts that she still didn’t know what were supposed to be used for, and the useless cover (her words), etc.  Dan loaded all the big things while this lady showed me how to use the filter and all the little thingamajiggers, and the hooziewhatsits.  Dan later asked me what she said and I replied with, “Dude.  I got nothing.  I was just shooting her ‘please don’t kill us’ vibes the whole time and nodding and smiling.  That’s not the kind of person you want to say the wrong thing to.”

We got the thing home, and two days later, Dan left to go on travel for 2-1/2 weeks.  While he was gone, I pulled the pool out of the back of the truck onto a tarp and dragged it into the back yard.  Then I took a look at my back yard for the first time in 9 years.  There’s not a flat spot in that whole damn yard.  We have a huge yard, and not one spot flat enough for a 16′ round pool.  Not that Dan told me that, or anything.  Eleventy billion times.  I a good listener.  As long as it’s something I want to hear.  Needless to say, I said, “screw this,” and went inside for a Klondike bar.  And then Dan came home.  In the time he’d been gone, it had rained a monsoon onto the bunched up pool, and I’d mowed around it badly.  It was all sorts of pretty.

Off topic: is it just me or are Klondike bars not really “bars?”  Aren’t they squares?  Aren’t bars supposed to be rectangular?

We decided to put it up last Friday.  And we set that sucker up like bosses!  It was set up, cleaned off, and in the process of being filled up in less than 2 hours.  And there was a lot of clean up to do.  Urgh.

Because we have well water, and an old well, we decided to only let the hose run while we were home.  You know, just in case it caught fire and tried to burn our the woods behind our house down.  It’s the little things.  So, on Monday night, after being slowly filled up all weekend, Dan comes in the house with a measuring tape and said, “I think we need to drain the pool and dig some of the yard out so it’s more level.  If it keeps leaning like it is, it’s going to pop or collapse.  And neither one of those sound good.”  I was all, really?!  Oh my freaking baby jeebus.  I’m never going to get a damn pool!  I’ve only been asking for one since we moved into that house 9 damn years ago.  Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!
I sent an e-mail out yesterday afternoon to a couple of my friends asking if they’d be willing to stop by to help us drag the assembled pool across the yard so we could dig out the yard to make it level.  And you know what happened?  I was reminded again that I have the best friends in the world.  I’m going to start crying now.  I can’t even think about how lucky I am without shedding tears like a little bitch.

Mischelle came over with her whole crew – the hubby, the kid, and the dog.  While I stopped for pizza on the way home, they measured, walked the yard, and found the perfect (nearly level!) spot for the pool.  I got home, we devoured that kick-ass pizza, and then we got busy!  The pool was moved, the new spot measured again, the kid “helped” me clean out the pool (again), and we got that sucker full enough for me to straighten out the liner so it could be filled to the brim!

So, while the whole pool adventure started off kinda crappy, it’s getting good and I can’t wait to play in the damn thing once it’s full!

Thank you, Mischelle.  You made shit happen and I love you for it!