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The other day I was thinking that I might need a life coach to help me get on track and stay on track with all the crapola I have going on.  Then I thought, can anyone just say they’re a life coach, or do they need to get certified.  So, I googled that shit.  My little search bar populated itself with this:

Supple what?!

I sat there with my mouth hanging open and my “ain’t nobody got time for that!” look wondering, “What in the actual hell?!”  I just had to know why supple leopard, of all the possible things on Earth, popped itself into my little Google search bar.  So, I googled that shit, too.  A link to Amazon was presented and this is what Amazon tried to sell me:

Oh a supple leopard

Oooooooh, a supple *leopard*.

I thought, “Aw, hell, naw, Amazon!  You’re not going to get me to exercise, you sneaky mo fo!”  Then I thought, “You know, I could have more time to exercise if I had control of all the other crap in my life.  I should probably get a life coach.”  And then I started banging my head against the damn wall.