I was reading my blog subscriptions the other day and ran across a meme on Johi’s blog, Confessions of a Corn Fed Girl. She got it from Red of Doesn’t Speak Klingon who originally got it from Aunt Becky of Mommy Wants Vodka. So, all that says is that Johi, Red, and I get all our cool New Year’s memes from Aunt Becky. Yup.
Drumroll please… My responses to the meme will be broken up over a few days because nothing keeps my attention for long. Ay! Ardilla!
1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Spent the night in a hospital. It wasn’t too shabby. My roommate showed me her bare ass, I got good drugs, and I got the whole damn bed to myself! Although my roommate’s ass was saggy, it was still better than the ones on the strippers at that dive bar in Baltimore, so there’s that. If you are ever offered the chance to have dilaudid, take it. I usually have to share my half of the bed with the little dogs, so not having them in bed with me was freaking awesome. I could stretch all the way out and all the way across the mattress. Except for the freaking pain from surgery and my ill-placed IV, it was bliss.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did not keep my New Year’s resolutions. I did not make any for this year. I used to make these grand plans and get down on myself when I didn’t accomplish them, so I just stopped making them, and lo and behold, my self esteem increased. Who’d a thunk it?
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Dude, I don’t remember. If you did and you’re a good friend, then I’m sorry. I have the memory of a flea and you should know that about me. I’m sure all the lovely things I said about your kid, if you had one, still stand.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, a few. And it sucked big purple donkey dicks. I don’t want to write about shitty stuff.
5. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
A winning lottery ticket, never-ending gas in my tank, new floors in the house, a new fence with working gates, a big-ass garden, and to live in Texas. I just want a couple of things. Not much, really, when you think about it. Although, I’d settle for a fixed fence or new floors, which would mean that Mr. Bug and I would have to finally agree on the color/type of flooring to put down, so that’s never going to happen. We’re going on 3 years of sub-floor. Sub-floor for life, baby! I will not budge on my choice!
6. What countries did you visit?
The Mexico. We did not get murdered, we did not get mugged, rolled, or drugged, we did get issued our sunburn upon arrival (well, just me), we got rained on during our vow renewal ceremony (10 years, baby!), and we did get a couple* of drunks at the swim-up pool bars.
*More than a couple. I lost count at 13 and we were only there 8 days.
7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 31st. My very first overnight hospital stay, the aforementioned dilaudid (better than an double rainbow), and the promise of being pain-free. Although, that part didn’t happen. And that sucks even bigger purple donkey dicks.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I didn’t kill Mr. Bug. That’s a daily battle I have to fight; he has a lot of insurance on his ass. I’m just saying. Oh, and apparently we’re oil and water because I’m a Cancer and he’s an Aries. Or is it Libra? I can never remember. I know it has 5 letters in it. But seriously, my biggest achievement? Purging a lot of crap from the house. It was liberating. And now I can’t stop throwing/giving shit away! It’s fantastic. Like running nekkid in the rain.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not getting my mother’s birthday and Christmas presents out on time. I still haven’t finished and sent them. I also didn’t do Christmas cards this year. And I made them by hand, damn it! I guess I’ll just get them done early this year to send out. I suck at being a grown up.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. As mentioned before, I was in the hospital. It wasn’t for anything life-threatening, but it was an illness of sorts. I had some diseased bits removed. Even though the main reason I had the surgery was to alleviate pain and I still have said pain, I’m glad I did it. It will be better for me in the long run. I’ll have fewer pills to take throughout my life to balance out all the bad juju.
Continued on the next post. *jazz hands* Ter der!