*I may be exaggerating just the teeniest bit.
Today, in the kitchen at work, were three citrus fruits offered up for grabs. As I heated up my mini-raviolis, I thought, for dessert, I should probably have a piece of real fruit. You know, instead of the cookies I brought in from Cookie Days this weekend.
That damn piece of fruit tried to kill me y’all. I was chomping away on a section of the fruit when it flew down my throat of it’s own volition and tried to strangle me to death from. the. inside.
So, I hollered through my coughs, “Attempted murder by orange! Or possibly tangerine, I’m not really sure!”
That’s what I get for taking free food from the kitchen.
And then Jeremy said he’d never seen an obituary with a multiple choice list of causes of death. And with that comment, I think I am going to have it written into my will that there be a multiple choice offered for cause of death in my obituary and the person at my funeral that guesses closest to the real cause of death gets a sur-prize. Like my container of extra buttons. That bitch is overflowing with plasticky goodness, baby! There’s even sequins and beads in there for the fancy clothes.