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*I may be exaggerating just the teeniest bit.

Today, in the kitchen at work, were three citrus fruits offered up for grabs.  As I heated up my mini-raviolis, I thought, for dessert, I should probably have a piece of real fruit.  You know, instead of the cookies I brought in from Cookie Days this weekend.

That damn piece of fruit tried to kill me y’all.  I was chomping away on a section of the fruit when it flew down my throat of it’s own volition and tried to strangle me to death from. the. inside.

So, I hollered through my coughs, “Attempted murder by orange!  Or possibly tangerine, I’m not really sure!”

That’s what I get for taking free food from the kitchen.

And then Jeremy said he’d never seen an obituary with a multiple choice list of causes of death.  And with that comment, I think I am going to have it written into my will that there be a multiple choice offered for cause of death in my obituary and the person at my funeral that guesses closest to the real cause of death gets a sur-prize.  Like my container of extra buttons.  That bitch is overflowing with plasticky goodness, baby!  There’s even sequins and beads in there for the fancy clothes.

Not my container. Or my buttons. It’s not a sur-prize if you get to see it beforehand.

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