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Yesterday, after work, I went to drop off something at a Freecycler’s house and happened to look down at my gas guage.  I was all, “Holy shit! I need gas.  Now!  The needle is way past the line and I’m, oh my god, I’m surprised I haven’t run out of gas yet.  Hurry up, light… Hurry!”

So, I pulled in to a gas station and took this picture:

OmyG! I’m almost out of gas!

I tweeted it with the caption “So, I should probably get some gas.”  And then I sent a text to my husband with the same message.  And then my phone died.

And then hilarity ensued.  For everyone but me.  Fuck.

I’m a dumbass because I tried to fill an already full gas tank.  Really, you say?  Yes.  Yes, I did.  And I didn’t realize it until I was home yelling at my husband that he’d screwed up my damn car.  And this is how the horrible scene played out:

Me: The pump kept clicking off after, like, 20 seconds!

Mr. Bug: Because it’s full!

Me: No, you don’t understand!  It wouldn’t take any gas!!

Mr. Bug: That’s because I filled it up on Saturday, dumbass!!!!1!

Me: …

Mr. Bug: *uncontrollable laughter*

Me: Why are you laughing at me?

Mr. Bug: *louder, snorting, uncontrollable laughter*

Me: Oh. My. God.  Are you kidding me?  I tried to fill up a full car?  At three different gas stations?  No wonder it wouldn’t work.

Mr. Bug: *uncontrollable laughter* You went to THREE gas stations?  Holy shit! *uncontrollable laughter*

Me: I swear to Jeebus that I thought it was empty when the needle was on the right..

Mr. Bug: Nope. Which ones?

Me: It’s that way on the van! Sheetz, Sheetz, A&W.

Mr. Bug: Um, no.  The only way the E is near right is if it’s vertical. Really?!

Me: Well, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck.  Really, did I just do that?

Mr. Bug: Yes, you did.  And now all your twitter friends are going to call you an idiot.  I signed in just so I could see this shit. (Mr. Bug hardly ever gets on the twitters.  I think he’s scared what I might type and then he’d have to face the truth about me.)

Me: *sigh of resignation* (And then I plugged my phone in and began the waiting game to see who would call my dumb ass out first – it was @tireguyeighty8.  He called me blonde!  What’s worse than that?  I’m actually blonde.)

An hour later…

Mr. Bug: *chuckle*

Me: Let it go, asshole.

 

So, how was your evening?

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