Yesterday, after work, I went to drop off something at a Freecycler’s house and happened to look down at my gas guage. I was all, “Holy shit! I need gas. Now! The needle is way past the line and I’m, oh my god, I’m surprised I haven’t run out of gas yet. Hurry up, light… Hurry!”
So, I pulled in to a gas station and took this picture:
I tweeted it with the caption “So, I should probably get some gas.” And then I sent a text to my husband with the same message. And then my phone died.
And then hilarity ensued. For everyone but me. Fuck.
I’m a dumbass because I tried to fill an already full gas tank. Really, you say? Yes. Yes, I did. And I didn’t realize it until I was home yelling at my husband that he’d screwed up my damn car. And this is how the horrible scene played out:
Me: The pump kept clicking off after, like, 20 seconds!
Mr. Bug: Because it’s full!
Me: No, you don’t understand! It wouldn’t take any gas!!
Mr. Bug: That’s because I filled it up on Saturday, dumbass!!!!1!
Mr. Bug: *uncontrollable laughter*
Me: Why are you laughing at me?
Mr. Bug: *louder, snorting, uncontrollable laughter*
Me: Oh. My. God. Are you kidding me? I tried to fill up a full car? At three different gas stations? No wonder it wouldn’t work.
Mr. Bug: *uncontrollable laughter* You went to THREE gas stations? Holy shit! *uncontrollable laughter*
Me: I swear to Jeebus that I thought it was empty when the needle was on the right..
Mr. Bug: Nope. Which ones?
Me: It’s that way on the van! Sheetz, Sheetz, A&W.
Mr. Bug: Um, no. The only way the E is near right is if it’s vertical. Really?!
Me: Well, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. Really, did I just do that?
Mr. Bug: Yes, you did. And now all your twitter friends are going to call you an idiot. I signed in just so I could see this shit. (Mr. Bug hardly ever gets on the twitters. I think he’s scared what I might type and then he’d have to face the truth about me.)
Me: *sigh of resignation* (And then I plugged my phone in and began the waiting game to see who would call my dumb ass out first – it was @tireguyeighty8. He called me blonde! What’s worse than that? I’m actually blonde.)
An hour later…
Mr. Bug: *chuckle*
Me: Let it go, asshole.
So, how was your evening?