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Holy crap, y’all.  Dan’s leaving me AGAIN.  This will make two weekends in a row that he’s going out of town for fun.  Without me.  What? The? Hell?

Why don't you love me!?

September is his birth month, but it’s not like that should matter.  I mean, he gets all pissy when someone goes out to dinner twice for their birthday.  Never mind that you don’t want to go to dinner with your work peeps, your regular peeps and your family at the same time, so it makes sense to have two (or more) outings.  That doesn’t matter to him.   He calls it being greedy.  He’s also an ass.

So, two weeks ago, on September 5th, he says, “Guess what? … It’s my birth month!”  He was trying to be all cute by making fun of me because I celebrate for an entire month.  Well, guess what?  He won’t get a freaking birth month.  He’ll get one single 24-hour period.  His birth-DAY.  And that’s IT.  Nothing more, nothing less.  He’ll get one freaking thing and like it, or at least pretend to like it.

What was I talking about?  Oh, yeah.  Abandonment and whether or not I could take his ass to the cleaners for it in court.

Last weekend, he decided at the last minute to go down to North Carolina with Darrell and his son, David, to check out Darrell’s “Golf House” after hurricane Irene.  In case you were wondering, the house was fine.  Dan played golf and did all sorts of fun things.  I sat at home doing homework.  Although, I did go to a murder mystery dinner on Friday night.  That was a lot of fun.  I’ll tell you all about that in another post.  But the rest of the weekend, I sat at home doing homework and watching all the chick flicks I’d recorded onto the DVR.

This weekend?  He’s going to Indiana (or wherever) to go to the  Notre Dame – Michigan State game.  Yup.  What will I be doing this weekend, you ask?  Homework.  Again.  But more of it this weekend because my second class started this week.  Yay, me.  Don’t feel too bad for me, though.  I know you were just about heart. broken.  I have plans, too, you know.  Friday night, I have to go to the Brass Rail Sports Bar to sit by the Friendly Fund pull-tab machine and pay out money to the ticket winners.  Saturday, I’m going to a scrapbook crop thingamajig in the afternoon.  And Sunday, I’m going to a Tastefully Simple fall/winter tasting preview party.

Yeah, right.

Individually, each of those events don’t sound terrible.  In fact, they sound like they have a lot of potential for fun.  And, I’m sure I’ll have a blast on Saturday and Sunday with all my friends – the Rail kinda sucks these days, so Friday’s going to be a bust.  However, when you put them back to back to back during a husband-free weekend, I have to say, they sound downright shitty.  I mean, he’s in another state, going to a foozball game, and I’m here, being all domestic and junk.

Friday = charity work.  Saturday = learning new ways to document our lives on acid-free paper.  Sunday = learning new recipes to cook for dinner.  Really?!  This is what my life has become?

Next week, I’m going to sit in my recliner with my hands down my pants and a beer on the end table without a coaster under it!

Hells yeah.


Who am I kidding?  I’ll use a coaster.  And I’m totally NOT sticking my hands down my pants.  And I’ll be having wine.  *le sigh*

I wonder what else Dan has planned for his action-packed, fun-filled not-a-birth-month.